We were always brought up to be kind, considerate of others and, above all, not to think about ourselves. We think ,that we will be more popular and everyone will like us because we are the nice and good. We are people pleasers and we live in a sweet ignorance that this is our role in life, that this is the best . Unfortunately, the opposite is true. People will see us as a girl for everything or as a good boy, children will come with more and more demands, co-workers’ tasks will never end, our partner will have more and more demands on us, parents will need more help and so on. Trying to please everyone will eventually lead us to complete EXHAUST and BURNOUT.
How to GET OUT of it?
Remember what they told you on the plane during the safety demonstration, PUT ON your mask first, then help OTHERS. And so it is also in personal life. Why should the needs of others be more important than YOURS.
Why do we fall flat on our faces when doing tasks for others and they don’t even thank us for it.
HOW TO LEARN TO SAY NO
-you have the right to fulfill your wishes
-you have the right to express your opinions
-you have the right to choose who will be in your life
-you have the right to communicate your boundaries to others
-you have the right to fulfill your dreams
-you have the right to live your life the way you want
-you have the right to choose your friends
-you have the right to have time for yourself
– you have the right to do work that you enjoy
– you have the right to choose your partner
-you have the right to rest
It takes PRACTICE, nothing happens with a snap of the fingers.
Give yourself time to consider when someone asks you for something.
Is this really what I want too?
How does that make me feel?
Am I okay with this or do I want to please someone again?
What’s stopping me from doing this?
What is it that does not allow me to move on?
Why can’t I win my opinion?
Where do I want to be in 5-10 years?
It’s not a WRONG to say no if I don’t want to do this task. Send away the old patterns of thinking and start thinking about yourself too. Think about how that makes you feel. You say yes just to have peace of mind or because the people around you have gotten used to you always doing what they ask of you. Or you focus on your feelings and find out that you don’t want it like this at all, that you just imagine it your stomach churns and a lump forms in your throat. Learn to listen to your body, whether it’s when choosing a new partner or a new job.
SAY NO
If you have trouble saying NO repeatedly and that happens to a lot of us.
Don’t worry, you are not ALONE.
Do SELFTRAINING, stand in front of the mirror at home and imagine the last situation that happened to you. And quickly say NO, feel free to STAMP OR YELL at it. If you train like this regularly, you will see results. And you will stand up for YOURS. And so you finally start living your dream life. Transformational COUCHING will help you with this. It is only up to you when you FINALLY want to stand up for yourself and live life according to YOURSELF and not according to others.